A letter to lover

Dear future lover/husband,

I know that this letter is going to be long and I know that people despise long letters but I also know that writing is my passion and you have to bear with me when I am in the middle of nowhere and I have no pen and paper to write because I can get very impatient and cranky at such times.

I do not know what led you to fall in love with me. I do not know why is it necessary to love or being loved. I do not require answers for my questions either because I am just like that. What I do know is that I have been needy for affection and care for long. I have craved a partner for long now to share my "darkest" secrets and my quirkiness with.

I am not an easy person to live with. It will take you years to judge me and you will still not be able to fathom who I am. Where my friends think I am kind and caring and enthusiastic, my family thinks I am rude, arrogant, selfish and dull. You will not be surprised after we have spent two years together that my 13 year old brother told me, "it will be so hard to talk to people with sweetness since you are so bitter". You will also not be stunned when you will find out the amount of my salary that goes out to other people.

Love, I am ambitious and adventurous at days and then some days I just want to lay down with my book in an ill-lit room and do nothing. But I promise to love you in all these days. I will bug you to take me to the highest mountain of the world in December and I will not listen when you will tell me it is deadly there but then I will not utter a word when you will take me to the nearest hill station just because you cannot hear me blabber about how you do not love me.  

I have dreams, crazy ones. People laugh at me when I tell them about my dreams. I would not want you to do that. I promise to accept the craziest of dreams you have and I expect you to do that for me too. I am passionate and I devote myself to my work if I love it, forgetting all about love, forgetting all about myself, forgetting all about the world. On times like this, I do not want you to forget me. I want you to bring me a cup of a coffee in which you forgot to add sugar because you are not much of a coffee fan and I want you to force me to drink it. I will do the same for you when you have a project on hand and the submission is due. I will also write all your journals, reports and make sure you do not fret over the load your boss puts up on you.

I take no shame in telling you that I do not know how to love. I also feel pride in telling that I cannot get any cheesier than this letter but I will give my best to our relationship. I will learn every recipe you like, speak all the languages that you want to learn and make sure you are okay. I will look out for you. I will hold your hand when you stumble. I will fall with you if you fall. I will sing the song I hate just for you. I will think of our home as our paradise. I will respect you and expect it in return. I have the most for my dignity and I would not compromise on that for anyone and everyone.

You have to get the plate from the shelves because I am short and I cannot reach those. You have to keep extra pair of shoes in our car because I usually break my shoes. You have to keep an eye on me because I am clumsy. I do not like to shop and you will have to help me get the best clothes and jewellery. In return, I will buy you suits and cute t-shirts. 

Remember that I will prefer chocolates and books over you on days but also remember that I will not let go of you. I will not cheat on you. I will not hurt your emotions and most of all, I will learn to love you every day.

Your hopeless in love wife,

Sidra.