Solicitude.

I'm high on my thoughts. The only reservoir I have. My thoughts, they never betray me unlike everyone and everything.They stay by me forever. Yes, Not to mention the battle I have everyday, when the demons take over, when it's dark, when I get all suicidal. But that doesn't count. Because when loneliness reign over, the only weapon that saves me is my thoughts, that comes out as tears, accompanies me, I'm lulled by the very over-thinking, that turns my bed of flowers into bed of thorns, but that's okay, I'd be okay. It would be better than the woe that I experience when I've no one by me amidst of all the people around me.

Destruction.

I'm living and dying at the same time. I die at every interval in between the heartbeats. I die 71 times a minute. But none of this is as mind boggling as it's mentioned in the books. This is terrible, horrific. How does it feel to stab yourself with a knife 71 times a minute, the feeling, it makes you numb, it's stupefying, leaves you befuddled.