Letters.

Letter 1:

Love,

This is my first day of struggling to get over you. And I have realized at this moment that I am a failure. I can't, I can't.... Come back, please? There's no point of me writing this letter to you, you'll never read it, I know. But I want you back. I don't like it when daddy wakes me up at 9, I want you to call me and wake me up. And I'm scared at night, I don't have anyone by me at 3am, when it's dark. I wear Havoc everyday, love, because you loved the scent of it when we first hugged each other. And I wait for you every night, to have all those beautiful moments back, to have you, back. I made achaar goshth today, and I couldn't eat it, you know I don't eat pickle, but I ate all of it for you, see, your sweetheart is trying to change herself, come back? I really need you. I love you.

Yours,

Someone-who-is-broken.

1/03/2010.

Letter 2:

Hey,

You didn't come back, it has been 18 days, you didn't call. So, this guy next door proposed me, he walks like you, and he reminds me of you. And I said yes, I'm sorry, I don't want to cheat on you, but I need you and he reminds me of you. He saw me crying sitting across the fence last week and he told me I looked like a tomato whilst crying. You used to say the same. Is this you? Are you back? Every time I talk to him, it feels like you. They say, winters are blue, but my spring is blue without you. He likes my eyes, just like you did. And he buys me chocolates, just like you did. He sings me to sleep, just like you did. I just wish, he doesn't betray me, just like you did.

No-more-yours,

Still-not-okay-sweetheart.

18/3/2010.

Letter 3:

Yo!

I am over you, FINALLY. I'm writing this letter just to let you know that I'm fine without you. And your phone call last month, mum told me about it. I didn't respond. I don't want to. I am happy. I got into college and I will have friends in less-than-no time. Everything is so cool. There are a lot of fun people here, the kind of people you used to tell me about. I still miss you at every weekend, when we used to be together. But well, that's how life is, no? And by the way, I ditched the guy I told you about, he was nothing like you, no one's like you. Got to go now, I've this new friend from college who's taking me to the new shopping mall. I.... I love you.

Yours loving,

Happier-than-ever-girl.

8/9/2011.

Letter 4:

Erm, hi,

It's never been hard to write a letter to you, but it is now. I've burnt 50 letters already and I don't have any appropriate thoughts to ink down to you. I'm 17. I AM FREAKING 17 and you did not wish me. It's been so long I've heard that soothing voice of you. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE PLEASE. I love you. See, I'm still waiting for you. I saw your relationship status. Your girlfriend is very pretty. And the diamond ring you gave her is beautiful. But it's nothing like that necklace you gave me on that new year's eve, when you were leaving for airport. I still have it. I don't have any friends, I lost them. They think I'm weird. So I took these pills, I'm so dizzy, I might just throw......

I'm sorry for being gross, I can't write another letter.

Sorry.

20/02/2012.

Letter 5:

Hey, 

I am sorry I didn't write to you. My therapist stopped me from writing. I am done with my 1 year sessions. I a going on this trip. It's been 3 years that you broke up with me. I am 18 now, and they say I look pretty and happy. I have friends now. But I miss you. You were my best friend. I can't tell my friends how my parents beat me. Mom thinks I am bringing shame to the family. Please save me.

Yours,

Someone-who-still-is-in-love-with-you.

4/04/2013.

Letter 6:

Hey,

This is probably the last time I am writing to you. I have realized that I've lived in delusions for the last 4 years. I'm 19 today and I have made a pact that I won't write to you. There's this guy, he's a fellow writer. He doesn't know me but we met on this usual meet-ups of a writing workshop and I adore the pain he carries within him. He's my perfect picture of melancholy, I don't want him but I want to be his solace. I hope you won't mind. Take care. Congratulations on graduation. I hope you'll make a good doctor. I will never forget that excruciating pain you sent my way. I will never forget how you abandoned me. And I will never forget our forever promise. I will go to Venice one day and I'll go to that church(The one you had as your phone's wallpaper) and I'll sail those boats. I miss your presence,

With love,

A-free-soul.

17/2/2014.

Letter 1:

Dear love,

 I do not know why I am addressing you like this, when you're not even aware of my existence, but I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU. And I've loved many people, in many ways, and I don't want any of them. And I don't want you. But, for once, just for once, I want to be there for you. They tell me,"HE IS STRONG". But I know, you've put that facade for long enough to make them think so. And I know you're vulnerable. You're fighting so hard to get those demons out of your head, I know, love. And you're the kind of person I'll fight those fiends for. Without even letting you know. I don't want your attention, I swear to GOD, I don't. I want you to smile, wholeheartedly, just once. Sit. Take that cloak off. I want your heart out of that cage engulfing it. THOU ART BEAUTY, take it off. And I'll suck all the sorrows out of that heart, even if it kills me. Because I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU. And I want you to be happy, again. Please? It's been ages and you've probably forgotten what being happy is, but for the sake of that moon we have watched together, and for the sake of that dawn, and for the sake of my love for you, I am here, begging you. Take all my happiness, take my heart, take my soul, but let go of the woe, And I REALLY LOVE YOU.

Yours loving,

Someone-who-doesn't-exist-in-your-world.

25/8/2014.