Fantasy

I want to live a fantasy. No, not the kind of those in fairy tales. Neither flying to the moon, nor transforming into Cinderella.
I just want to be happy. I am seeking that one moment of happiness. I want to cherish a moment of internal peace. I want to experience and hold onto the moment when there's no battle inside my mind. When I don't cry myself to sleep. I want that emptiness. Just for a moment but I want it. I swear that one moment will be eternity for me. I want a world where everyone smiles. Where you can do whatever you dream of. Where no one will judge you. Where kids will never lose their parents. Where a father will always be there for his kids, ALWAYS. Where a mother will never cry over the dead body of her son. Is it too much to ask for? Am I demanding more than I deserve? I ponder over it and never reach a conclusion. Is it impossible to turn my fantasy into reality?

Narcissist

There's this one person you talk to, and you feel like giving up on your whole world for him. You feel like you know him for years. That there's this spiritual connection between you and him. And you start falling for him. For every word he utters, for every thought he shares. And all of a sudden, your list of "my dream boy" is lost somewhere. It's like you put it under a pile of clothes in laundry and you won't find it again now.
And then, when you start loving him, this narcissist in you, this person inside you, who never loved you back, who fought against you, who was the reason for the battle inside you, this narcissist will demand your presence, it'll promise you to award you with the peace of mind you've been missing forever. And yes, you'll be all greedy and leave that one person. And then, as usual, there'll be more pain. More grief. More agony.

I'm a beggar.

I'm a beggar, deemed as an archaic,
ye' throw alms at me, Uncertain of reality.
that it is not what I desire,But I crave for contemplation,
And anticipate love and attention.
I'm a story untold, I'm a mystery unsolved.
Dive into my eyes, See the kid inside.
A mother who yearns for the love of humanity,
Who wishes that you don't just look, but see.
I'm a part of your everyday.
You're so colourful, and look, I'm all gray.
When you find me next time,
Just throw an affectionate smile.
For I'm a beggar, deemed as an archaic

HIM.

He was tall with Dark black hair, as dark as the night sky in December.
And his ocean like eyes, so deep that it felt like he was holding all the universe in them, so esoteric, so enigmatic that nobody would have ever figured out the tides of emotions and heartbreaks rising through him. I fell for him when I first explored the beauty inside him, when I actually came to know what was beneath that beautiful glowing skin, those pearl like eyes, that smile. I would've risked everything for that smile. I fell for him everyday, when I kept discovering his new side, the way a nemophilist falls for the beauty of nature everytime he uncovers something new about the nature. And I kept falling until he caught me, and wrapped me in his arms.

Lifeless.

Unaware of where I've lost my soul, I look around. But I find myself in this abyss, and there's no way out.
I'm broken, shattered, running around in this dark deep well, my mind is a chaos of thoughts, which I can't express, which I can't extract out of my mind. And only then I perceive that, I am a lifeless body. With no soul.

I miss you.

"I miss the time, when life had a rhyme, Texting all day long, and meeting at nine, we'd those little fights, which used to give us frights, we'll never forget each other, the promise we used to utter, And now when I look back, I am taken aback, at those memories so sweet, when we never knew a word like "defeat", Life's not the same, all I have left is a photo frame, I crave of having you around me, Nevertheless, of what has changed."

Move on

I am standing there. In a dark alley. Memories passing like a flash and I can't see anything. But the giggles we shared. The shoulder you gave me to cry on. The words you spoke, those beautiful words, those powerful words, I still can't feel my heartbeat, when I am thinking of those words, you know. Those dreams, I had. Spending my life with someone who gave me a new life. You taught me how to live, and how to laugh. You taught me how to enjoy the teeniest tiniest happiness. The late night conversations, when you promised me you'll be with me, forvever.
Alas, you didn't tell me what "Forever" meant for you. And then, you made me suffer. Those days, when I was another nobody for you. Those days when you used to pass by me and left me unnoticed. You made me feel so wanted and then suddenly, I felt unwanted, dejected. I kept on asking you "WHY?" and you never replied.
I don't have any option. Except for moving on. My heart tells me to move on. And I do. Because these memories, they won't bring any happiness for me. Moving on will. Because they say Life Goes On and I've to MOVE ON.
Photo credits: https://www.facebook.com/wherethemindrests

What is love?

What is Love? For I know nothing about it;
But I've heard people say things about it.
Some say it gives pleasure in everything;
Others find pain in it and nothing.
Its like the stars in the sky;
Or night with no moon for some to cry.
It brings roses to some;
But takes away everything then and leaves none.
As bright as night sky in Summer,
As dark as just another night in December.

September.

September, the month of happiness and an immortal train of laughters and giggles for some people, and for some, it is a breeze of depression, sadness, grief and memories that makes everyone nostalgic. This month, it gives you hopes and dreams in the morning, and in the evening, it changes everything, you feel like you're going to fail, your dreams are never going to come true, you're dull and exhausted. In the morning, it tells you to tell your beloved how much you love him. In the evening, it tells you he's never going to see your face again, if you do so.
You want to dance to the sound of birds' chirping in the morning but at evening, all you want to do is grieve over what you don't have. It motivates you to achieve your goal and then tells you it was never your goal, it was just a mirage that went away.
The silence prevails as soon as the sun sets. And this absence of words and voices is not soothing.
It is scary. The beauty of the nature is snatched away by an invisible hand and the earth looks eerie. This is how it is, this is September. 

Reality of Life

I am afraid, not of the monsters nor of the ghosts, but from the reality of life which haunts me everytime, and keeps on reminding me how brutally it leads people to death, how it kills one's dreams, how it snatches away one's happiness. And when you want it to do what it does to others, it gives you happiness, love, hopes, takes you far away from reality, and then again, it haunts you.

"The most precious time is spent in the dark, with the only light, which is the light of your thoughts"

MASK

A mask: Something one wears to hide his/her identity.
People back then used to wear masks to enteratain kids, or to commit robberies etc without revealing identities. But, Now-a-days, everyone wears a mask. What's the reason? Maybe there's some guilt we want to hide under this mask. We don't want to reveal our REAL face.
But what are we even afraid of? The society? The society which is gonna forget us the moment we die? Our family? The ones who know everything already. Or our Friends? Aren't real friends the ones who're going to accept us the way we are? Then WHY?
         Every face is so real yet so unreal.
Why each and every person of this society is a hypocrite? Why one acts like a saint even though he knows deep inside that no one would commit as many sins as him? Why a man pretends he is very calm when he's the most frustrated creature on this planet? A teacher acts like he knows everything when he knows nothing. A husband pretends he loves his wife more than anything, a wife pretends she's the most responsible person in the house.
There's no single person on this earth who is not wearing a mask. Everyone has a story, a story no one wants to tell. A story, we think, no one wants to know.We're believing our lies about ourselves which is turning us into a narcissist. We now believe that, this MASK, this is our real face. And we don't even know, WHY IS THAT SO?