Sufferance.

I deem myself as an epitome of patience. With all the chaos around, I'm at peace. I sustain the calmness.
No sapien would get a hunch of relentless throes I'm suffering. They see me like the blue sky on a sunny, windless day. But in there, inside my head, I'm like an ocean at night, when the storm is coming, with the tides rising and falling every second. I'm like a clock, every tick stabs me and every tock takes the knife out so it could stab me again. It looks like the nature has entrusted me with the task of staying quiet and still. Because if I spit out the grief, it won't stop, like blood flowing down the veins, that never stops. And I might infect this world with my anguish, because now the blood flowing in there is black, poisoned, with the venom of my thoughts. And the living will stop breathing, and the dead will cry out, because it'd be hard for them to take in so much suffering.

Feelings.

You were too busy listening to them, their pain, their grief, their agony, their anguish, their heartbreaks that you forgot to notice mine. And that hurts more than anything. That leaves me in the dimension where I don't live nor I die. And I feel terrible. It scares me.
You gave me so much that it's hard to ingest the minor shots of happiness now.
And what am I left with? For all I had was you. And your love.
Now, I am unarmed, I've lost my armor and my shield. I've lost my sweetness and bitterness. And I'm left with bleakness and darkness. You snatched away my feelings and left me with the emptiness.
What do I do with these fragments? I cannot fathom these bits of words into rhyming poems no more. You deprived me of my feelings. Was my pain not intriguing? My heartaches, weren't they as captivating as theirs? I wish I could get my answer in your eyes like I did before. I so wish!

Love, a murderer.

Love is like a cigarette, that smoulders, burns. You crave it every time, inhale it, let it suffocate your lungs. It is like a drug you inject into yourself. It infects the blood in your veins, turning the red blood into blue, just like your feelings. Love, it is alcohol, so comforting, so soothing, snatching away the consciousness with every sip, poisoning you. Like a razor, which is so small, you cannot even imagine the amount of destruction it will cause if you hand this little killing thing over to someone and let them cut you. Love kills.

Camouflage. *Dedicated to me by a very special friend Mahreen*

Another night, again so blue.
Suffering in pinching darkness,
clutched in the paws of solitude.
These reflexive thoughts are withering my mind.
This loneliness and desolation burns me from inside.
Them barbaric humans are not of my kind,
I find myself oscillating between love and hate,
I am love and they are hate.
It all comes out of my eyes in the form of tears,
And washes away my face,
Yet you ask me why i smile so bright? Why my eyes sparkle?
I tell you that is how.

The daughter of Eve.

I heard mother talk to me,
"Dear love, you mean alot to me",
 She reminded me she was there for, me,
Oh that little telephone she used, just to hear my heartbeat.

I loved the music she listened,.
The dresses she bought that glittered,
Then one day I stepped into this new world.
"Its a girl", the doctor told,
Mother loved me no more,
Daddy didn't hug me, this feeling was so sour,

I was a rose that just blossomed,
And they never loved pink flowers, I reckoned,
I wanted to spread fragrance of love,
But they plucked me,
Was I this shame to you,
That you cut me?
They choke me to death, mommy cried,
To stop daddy, she tried,

I live no more, I am sound asleep,
Son was the one, for what they'd greed.
And I was the Daughter of Eve,
I was the Daughter of Eve.

Woe.

Cigarettes, they help me live when I die,

Sleeping pills, everytime they stop me when I cry,

Its tough, but still it is what I abide,

In this cruel world, we all reside,

My poetry is what gets me high,

The feelings, the world,  its all so dry,

My eyes hurt, the teardrops fall,

On my skin, slowly do they crawl,

I know not of what I write,

The ink comes out, in moments of fright,

I'm stardust, but the sparkle is long gone,

For I was a mere soul in this body, 

That God had thrown.