Borders.

Exchange.

26-4-2016.

Photograph-Natalia Derpina Photography.

Wings

Photograph-Brooke Shaden.

Resilience. *A collaboration with Umer Afridi*

"You have touched me 

when I was unaware,

And you've touched me

when I resisted,

Knowing that I detest it,

And loathe every inch of you

for going against my consent,

and for ruining me,

Just because a piece of paper

has given you rights over me

And my body.

But you can never touch my soul

Even with all your manliness and all your filth.

You do not have the power
To win me over
With your dominance.
I have the strength to hate you
No matter how much it hurts me
And I have the courage
To spit in your face when
You reduce me to a body
Only used for your pleasure.
I am brave enough
To stand against you
When you hit me,
And I laugh
When I bruise your ego
By never being submissive."
-S.A

"You cared for me
when I was unaware,
And you stood by me
when I was shunned,
Knowing that I am loathed
and hated every second.
Despite of my attempts
to destroy your life,
You stood by me
And protected me.
No matter how hard I try
To make you hate me,
You still love me with all your heart.
At last your love is dominant
Hatred's colors fade,
And your kindness and compassion
Surrounds my heart.
All the hatred is caged away
And I start believing in power of love.
The power of never giving up."
-Umer. Afridi.

Hope.

I have mustered courage
To love you fiercely
Even though you are
Just a figment
Of the crazy world,
Inside my head.
But I will continue
to love
the idea of you.

Home.

I believe language is the most beautiful and precious gift that God has bestowed upon us. I also believe that even though every word we enunciate finds a place in our heart and mends some pieces of it, no word has ever been able to replace the word "home" for me.
"Home" holds many definitions for me. Home is different places, people and books that have given me shelter when I had nowhere to go. All these homes that I have built till this date have been given to me by Peshawar.

I have written innumerable times about this city and none of my words do justice to the beauty that this place is. I moved here from Lahore when I was a kid, when my parents had no money to even afford books, when my mother had to leave us toddlers behind so she could find some place safe for us and that is where my love for the city started. This love nurtured over time since we had to move our houses a lot to find a home and also because I had no one else to love. I grew up in this city, explored parts of it not known to many, appreciated the food and people of this beauty and cried with it when it bleeded. I saw Peshawar when it was completely draped in fog and only the lights of Balahisar fort were visible, I saw her sweating after a scorching summer day and I saw her kissed by sunshine after a rainy day. There are a lot of hues of this city and I am awestruck every time I discover something new about it but I have never felt so much connected to it as much as I did on August 30, 2015.

This is the day when I first set out to discover the Walled city of Peshawar. I have been to the walled city plenty of times with my mother but I never explored it.
We walked from the Cunnigham clock tower to "Mohallan Sethiyan" where we met Mr. Zahoor Durrani from Tourism Corporation, Khyber Pukhtunkhwa, one of those people who hold reservoirs of knowledge and stories within them. There were people from many backgrounds and cities but having a unique eye for what was around us.

We entered Sethi's house and I was stunned. It was like I had stepped into a time machine that took me back to a place where I had never been to and I could have never imagined. The place was exquisite, the kind of place you read about in books and fail to imagine, the kind of place that sends shivers down your spine, the kind of place you want to spend all your life in, contemplating mysteries of every object that exists there.

Copyrights reserved.

The walls, ceilings, stairs, cupboards, floor, everything speaks to you. You touch these picturesque walls with intricate art and you feel like they are talking back to you. Everything has a voice in that house, not a scary voice, but a sweet, melodious voice that makes you want to listen to it for hours. The house has magic, Every element existing in there holds your attention and you cannot just have enough of it.

Sethi's house is a paradigm of beauty and everything about it is captivating. The house comprises of three floors and a double-storey basement connected to each other by red brick stairs. There's a fountain in the middle of the house. The mirror work is intriguing and is hardly found anywhere around us today.

A view of first floor from the basement of Sethi house. Copyrights reserved.

I felt at home in that house, in the abandoned rooms, in the dim-lit stairs and in the dark basement. I imagined myself staring at the starry sky from the roof of that historical house and drinking the green tea that is a heritage of the walled city. 

After spending ample time in the house, which surely was not enough for me and my wanderlust, we set out to go to Gor Gathri, which was few steps away from the Sethi Mohalla. Gor Gathri is rich with the remains of different civilizations. British, sikh, muslims, everyone found a home in Gor Gathri. There is a temple too which is an evidence to thousands of relations and plenty of occasions. 

Shiva temple, Gor Gathri. Copyrights reserved.

Gor Gathri has the oldest fire brigade committee and the oldest steam engines. The place is enchanting.

The walk of exploration continued from Gor Gathri to Bazaar e Kalaan and ended at Chowk Yadgar a.k.a The square of remembrance. This is the most ancient trail of the city and the bazaar still reminds one of the life that once existed here.

The best thing about this meet was coming across people who share the same love for the city and are passionate to explore it. We are striving to erase the fabricated image of Peshawar by bringing out the actual image of Peshawar. We were accompanied by people from Lahore and Islamabad who travelled to this city to play their part in portrayal of the actual image of Peshawar.. 

Peshawar is home to many like me and it will remain one forever. 

Walled City Meet, Peshawar. Picture credits: Rashid Jadoon.